No Destination

As titled.

Melbourne didn't really entertained me much. I got sick and pissed off. I guess I miss Canberra really much and I mean it. I'm back here with myself again. Unilodge is holding a meet and coctail party here and I was a bit out of numbers. Everybody got company with fun, and I just dragged my tired ass to this single room, with whole bunches of messages from facebook, xiaonei, phone and emails.

I don't know exactly what I want. 'U?' is just as simple as it is. I'm trying to be caring about you, asking you about what you are doing or anything you want to share with me alone here. Obviously it's not working out that I didn't get any words relevant in return except the judgement of somehow you think that I am demanding in terms of 'PICKING ON YOU'. You really interpret me as this is right. So trying to get in touch just as simply as asking 'What are you doing' is my fault. See, I was always the one to ask questions first because I am in need of information about you, to imagine that I could see you through your descriptions of what you are doing at the moment. And now you just cannot understand and get mad. Am I asking too much? You are not a much saying person even after few days of non-connections between us. I guess, probably, I just couldn't get along with guys. It's not just like we are living in the different countries, or states, or cities, or blocks. It's different planet. Sometimes, I just cannot be figured out right. It is not easy for me. Even though everybody has already moved on, I manage to stay exactly where I am. With myself.

Here, I am not a demanding girl, or, whatever. k. Blame me.

Chike said he had nobody to go shopping with, so he ended up with staying at home, alone.

I said it is ok just perfectly being with myself, or ourselves, so I ended up with one more single movie and of course, another pair of shoes, and they are surprisingly green.

I got to know so many great friends when this time back to China. After a series of proposals, I finally decoded my vision of disability to get intimate with great guys. I’m so terrified that I might lose them when at the beginning stage of intimation; therefore I prefer to just be friends instead of having broken hearts and total separation taken place when it came to the matter of relationships I supposed. Friends, in a way, are forever, but relationships are not that reliable.

Do you know what? You said your hand writing is not perfect so you wouldn't hand write me letters. I don't mind, really. What really matters is the fact that you do it, or not.